How should I handle this situation?

I am in love with a man who is 34 years old. I am 27 years old. Me and him attend the same church. He commented on a song I wrote online, so I messaged him online. One day, I was online, and I sent him a message. I said, " :)my daughter is sleeping". The next day, he ignored my message and didn't talk to me anymore. I found out he thought I wanted more from him. I assumed that people were gossiping about me and telling him to not talk to me. That wasn't true at all. He was just freaked out because I told him, "I care about you". I told him, if people are gossiping about me, don't listen to them. So we didn't talk for a while. Then, I messaged him 2 weeks after the issue. I heard that his back was hurting. I told him that I am praying for him, and he is in my prayers. I told him that I felt really bad what happened between us, and I told him that all is forgiven. I told him I respect him. He never wrote me back. He was avoiding me for a little at church. Then, he started to look at me more at church. He acts like he wants to talk to me by his body language, but it's like he is scared to talk to me or nervous. There was one night, I was laying on the floor on the alter, and he gave a lady a garment to put over me. One Sunday, the pastor was talking about not being afraid of relationships, and he said, "I am not afraid of that anymore". There was one night at church, a lady asked the guy I like to help me with my stuff. He said, "So do you need help with your stuff?". He was looking at the ground when he said that. I said, "sure". After the stuff was in the car, I said, "Well thanks again". He said, no problem. Then, one night at church, my daughter was sick and I had to leave after church service to take her to the doctor. The guy I like kept staring at me when I was strapping my daughter in her car seat. I heard someone call someone's name, an old guy that is a good friend of mine. When I was looking for a good friend of mine, the guy I like was watching me when I was looking for the good friend of mine. The good friend of mine was comforting me by holding my hand while he was praying for my daughter and me. I was crying at the time because I felt bad my daughter was sick when a good friend of mine was praying for me. I don't have feelings for this good friend of mine, and we are just close friends. It seemed like the guy I like was talking to somebody else and ignoring me when this guy was praying for me. I wonder if the guy I like was jealous when my good friend was praying for me. However, he has a close friend, and sometimes I get jealous when he is around her. One time, the lady was comforting him by rubbing his back because he looked upset. He limits how many friends he has. I am hurting over this because he is sending me mixed signals. Why does this hurt so much? He will stare at me all the time, act like he wants to talk to me, but will hesitate to approach me. He knows I am going through a divorce. I wrote him a message to him and made it clear that I just want to be friends with him. I told him that I am going through a divorce and it wouldn't be right to get involved with someone right now. Why is he freaking out so much around me? There was one time he sat in the same row as me, two seats near me at church. I pray every day and read my bible. I am trying very hard to grow in Christ, but this one thing is bothering me. I feel like I can't let this go because he won't talk to me or communicate with me. In my heart of hearts, I would feel so much better if he would tell me how he feels and be honest with me. Why is this so hard to let go of? Even though he is acting like this, I still have strong feelings for him. I wrote him back again a while back and told him that the reason I don't talk to him at church much is because I respect him as a person, and I respect his walk with God being the main focus in his life. Then, that Friday, he came to church and was staring at me. The guy I like went to the alter and sat on the floor, and I was sitting in the first row, so he was sitting close near me. He looked in my eyes when I was listening to the Pastor. It was like the guy I like was looking into my soul. The guy I like left service early when pastor was talking to me. Do you think he is in love with me? He used to be involved in church, and he quit being involved in activities in the church he used to do. He has not been at church for 2 weeks. I did not talk to him for 2 weeks online. Then, I chose to wish him a Happy Father’s Day. . I talked to someone about what I am going through, and she prayed for me about the situation. Then, yesterday, I wrote him a message online. He usually never responds to my messages. Yesterday, he responded to a message I wrote him online. I said to him, "Happy Father's Day". He said, "Thank you Christina". I said, "You are welcome